September 6-12 is national Suicide Prevention Week.  In recognition of this, we’re sharing the story of a girl named Sarah who, just over a year ago, took her life through suicide. 

In his grief and concern that no other parent ever experience what he experienced, her father shared their story in the hope that other parents will see the subtle signs and get the help they need for their child.

He shared, “Depression is a disease that some can hide.  Making the diagnosis is difficult for an untrained parent….Moodiness is normal.  Where is the line between moodiness and despair so deep that one takes one’s own life?  We lived with Sarah everyday.  We had dinner as a family almost every night.  We told her we loved her every day, several times a day.  Again, where is the line between moodiness and despair so deep that one takes one’s own life?  We didn’t see it.  Please, oh please don’t miss the signs.  Kids aren’t going to light them up like those on the side of the road.”     

In a letter to his daughter, he wrote:

“I love you.  Mom loves you.  You can’t imagine the heartache you have left.  I wish you had seen yourself through the eyes of all of the people that love you.  We saw a talented, intelligent, funny, gifted and beautiful young lady.  We didn’t see what you hid so well, your self-doubt and depression. 

The light the rest of us saw in you blinded us from your despair.  Please forgive us for not seeing past your acting.  

We would give the world for another chance.  I know that Jesus is holding you in his arms for the rest of eternity.

Love, your street tennis partner,

Dad”

According to the Minnesota Department of Health, here are some of the warning signs that someone may be considering or planning to end their life:

• Statements about hopelessness, helplessness or worthlessness
• Sudden change from a depressed mood to a happier, calmer mood
• Giving away cherished possessions
• Isolating oneself from friends or family
• Making arrangements or setting one’s affairs in order
• Direct or indirect statements that reference death or dying

Even if you’re not seeing any of these signs and are concerned about someone, ask them whether they have thought about suicide.  Research indicates that asking the following kinds of questions does not cause a person to start thinking about suicide.

• Do you ever wish you could go to sleep and never wake up?
• When you feel sad, have you ever had thoughts of harming or killing yourself?
• Are you thinking about killing yourself?  Have you thought about how you would do it?

You might need to ask the questions more than once and in different ways.  Do your best to listen without judgment.  Let them know you care, that they are not alone, and that help is available. 

If someone is in immediate crisis, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).  Don’t hesitate to call.  It may save someone’s life.

Sarah’s dad shared, “From this point forward if you even think you see or hear anything that sounds or looks like despair, please tell the child’s parent.  If you see it again tell them again and again and again.  If you even think you are depressed tell someone, get help, it is not a sign of weakness.  As a father I saw the talent, the incredible intelligence, the wit, the beauty.  She is my daughter and the friend of many.  What else would we all want to see?  What else could we see?  God, I miss my baby girl.” 

Click here to view additional information on preventing suicide.