All children, from babies to teens, need other adults (in forms ranging from doctors to babysitters, math teachers to confirmation leaders) with expertise and interests different from those of their parents. 

Having a network of support from others is good both for parents and for children.  Whether you call grandma, your ECFE teacher, your pediatrician, or a friend with a child the same age as yours, it helps to build a village of people you can turn to for parenting help, advice, and support. Sometimes the very intensity of the parent-child relationship makes it important to have other adults (grandparents, aunts or uncles, youth group leaders, etc.) to call on to get advice and perspective on challenges you are facing with a child.

Think about what you need and who might be able to provide it.   Sometimes you need concrete support like advice from your pediatrician, information on where to go for early childhood screenings, the name of a reliable babysitter, or someone to care for your child so you can get a brief break.  Sometimes you need more emotional support, including things like reassurance, encouragement, a reminder that things will get better, a funny story about a similar situation, etc. 

As you assemble your village, think about which adults you want your child to turn to when they have concerns or problems they don’t want to discuss with you.  How can you begin now to nurture a connection between members of your village and your child?  From a very early age, introduce the idea that there are other trusted adults your child can talk with about things in their life. 

Ask, "if you were worried about something, who else could you talk with?" and help your child think of three or four people. 

Search Institute research shows that young people who have three or more caring adults who support them (besides parents or guardians), feel happier and more hopeful, do better in school, and are less likely to rely on drinking, smoking or drugs to feel good or fit in.  And yet, less than half (43%) of young people ages 11-18 have three or more non-parent adults in their lives. 

How can you be a part of the village for families you know?  You can start by telling parents that you are willing to be called on for advice, support, encouragement, etc.  Think of things you can share, whether the name of your trusted pediatrician or clothes your child has outgrown or teaching their children about your hobbies or interests.  Sometimes we have to model what we want by reaching out to others to offer our support.