5.  Your mother-in-law keeps telling you your nine month old should be walking by now (her children did!) and you want to set her straight.

4.  Your child loves bugs (or wants to learn to sew) and you don't have a clue.    

3.  You know you should talk with your middle schooler about alcohol but you're not sure what to say. 

2.  Your teen is totally stressed out and you want to help. 

Parents are often torn between wanting to focus all their time and attention on a hurting child while balancing the needs of themselves and the rest of the family. 

When one child is going through challenging times, it can impact the whole family.  Here are some tips for keeping your whole family strong during challenging times:

It can be hard to differentiate between “teenage moodiness” and “teenage depression” especially since for some teens, depression is expressed as irritability, aggression and rage.  If you are worried about whether a teen is depressed, think about how long the symptoms have been present, how severe they are, and how different the teen is acting from his or her usual self. 

It is important to understand that depression is not a personal weakness, a character flaw, or a mood that a child can simply "snap out of".  Help is available. 

Risk factors that might indicate a counseling referral is needed:

Parenting can be a stressful job.  Often, especially when you're facing parenting challenges, most of your time and attention can be focused on your child or children. 

Here are some ideas for things you can do for yourself to reduce stress:

It is very scary to think of a child wanting to hurt or kill themselves.  Suicide is a very uncomfortable topic but it is important to be aware of some common warning signs so you are able to take action to get a child the help they need. 

Verbal warning signs include saying things like:

• “I shouldn’t be here.”
• “I’m going to run away.”
• “I wish I were dead.”
• “I’m going to kill myself.”
• “I wish I would disappear forever.”
• “If a person did this or that…would he/she die?”
• “The voices tell me to kill myself.”
• “Maybe if I died, people would love me more.”
• “I want to see what it feels like to die.”
• “My parent’s won’t even miss me.”
• “My boy/girlfriend won’t care anyway.”

Behavioral warning signs include doing things like:

Learn to recognize when a child or teen is stressed-out.  Are they getting enough sleep?  Are they eating well-balanced meals?  Do they have time to relax, have fun, do things they enjoy just for the fun of it? 

Stressed out kids tend to show it through chronic moodiness, irritability, anxiety, and/or long bouts of sadness.  For girls, they can sometimes become obsessive about their weight or looks.  They might complain of vague physical symptoms including stomachaches, restlessness, etc.  These behaviors can be a child's way of communicating to you that they need your help. 

Help children learn healthy ways to cope with stress.  It can be as simple as talking with an adult or caring friend about what’s on their mind, setting realistic goals, engaging in physical activity, extra time with a favorite pet, getting enough sleep, listening to music, writing in a journal, being reminded of their accomplishments, etc. 

According to the 2007 Minnesota Student Survey, more than one in 13 Suburban Ramsey County students felt almost more stress and pressure in the past 30 days than they could take.  Rates for girls were almost one in five 12th graders, one in six 9th graders, and one in thirteen 6th graders.  For boys, rates were one in eight 12th graders, one in eleven 9th graders, and one in thirteen 6th graders.

Everyone, including adults, teens and children experience stress and anxiety. Kids can feel stressed when they are trying something new, when there are changes such as a new sibling, a divorce, moving, or a new school, when they are taking a test or performing in front of others. 

Day to day stress can come from trying to fit in and do well in school or being busy with many activities. 

Some stress can be good.  For example, when we are stressed about a test, we might spend more time preparing.  Trouble starts when stress accumulates or when we don’t handle stress in healthy ways. 

When we hear the words mental health, we often think immediately of mental health problems but mental health refers to our overall psychological well being including how we feel about ourselves, the quality of our relationships, and our ability to manage our feelings and deal with difficulties.  Like physical health, it is important at all stages of our life.  And, like physical health there are lots of things we can do ourselves to encourage good mental health and there is help available when we need it. 

Mental health problems cause changes in our thinking, mood, or behavior and range from mild to severe and from temporary to chronic.  They can affect anyone, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, age or background.  They are not caused by poor decisions or bad habits.  They affect a person's physical, mental, and emotional well-being much as other health conditions like diabetes or heart disease.