I recently had the opportunity to talk with parents in the Early Childhood program of Roseville Area Schools about what parents can do to encourage their child’s interests and talents.  We talked about how as parents, we need to really notice and help our children discover and express what is unique about them. 

One of the best things we can do is to make sure our children have lots of opportunities to try new things.  How will we know our child is a budding Brett Favre if they never have a chance to play with a ball?  How will we know our child loves poetry, if they never get a chance to hear it?  How will we know they love to sing if they never get to hear music. 

Kids who feel supported and cared for as learners and as individuals by the adults and students in their school do better--both in and out of school.

Research shows that liking and feeling connected to school is a very important protective factor for kids that positively influences not just academics but also their social and emotional health.  Unfortunately, too many kids feel disconnected from school.

The 2007 Minnesota Student Survey included three questions that help measure how connected our students feel toward school:

1. How do you feel about going to school?
2. How many of your teachers are interested in you as a person?
3. How much do you feel teachers/other adults at school care about you?

Here are results for students in Suburban Ramsey County:

Kids (and parents) can get help with homework seven days a week from 1 to 11 p.m. just by accessing the Ramsey County Library's Web site at www.rclreads.org.  Homework assistance is provided "live" by certified tutors using controlled chatting, interactive whiteboards, and shared Web browsing. 

This free service is available in both English and Spanish to anyone with a library card and a desire to learn.  You can access it from your home computer or from computer workstations in the library.  Tutoring is provided in all core subjects including Science, Math, Social Studies, English, Reading, and Writing. 

"Tutors do not give students answers," said Marcus Lowry, teen libarian.  "They help learners determine solutions." 

Check out this new resource, funded by the Metropolitan Library Service Association, today. 

Start building intentional relationships with children you already know.  Use this worksheet to nudge your thinking.  Each young person you list represents an opportunity for you to make a difference. 

Start small by choosing one simple thing you can do to show every child or young person they matter.  Then, be intentional in supporting one child or young person in many ways over a long period of time. 

In Suburban Ramsey County, our goal is to have all kids connected to at least five caring adults.  Some kids already have a great support system in place—they have loving parents, a large extended family, and all sorts of family friends and well-wishers. 

The key to reducing the likelihood your child will experiment with alcohol, tobacco or other drugs is to stay involved in their life, know who their friends are, and set reasonable limits on their activities.

Stay Involved in their Life

Risks of alcohol and drug use increase during significant social transitions including starting middle or high school and getting a drivers license.  Often these transition times are associated with more independence.  These are critical times for you to stay involved in your child’s life.  Your child is meeting new kids, is more interested in peer acceptance, and is more likely to be exposed to older kids who may be using substances. 

As children move into the teen years, their peers have more influence over them—good and, potentially, bad.  Talk with your child about peer pressure and the natural desire to want to belong or fit in with others  Remind them that not all peer pressure is bad.  Friends encourage each other to try out for the team, audition for the play, or introduce each other to favorite hobbies, books, movies, and activities.  Friends support each other and can be a positive influence.  Encourage your child to be the kind of friend that is a positive influence for their friends. 

Peer pressure is problematic when young people feel pushed by their peers to do something they don’t really want to do or that is too risky for them. 

Talk together about how sometimes your child may want to do something so he or she can be part of a group.  Share your own experiences where you might have done something your didn’t want to do because you wanted other people to like you or you were too uncomfortable to say no. 

Don’t wait until there is a problem to approach them to talk. 

Children do best in school when parents and teachers work together.  Sometimes your child will need you to advocate for them with the school.

That's one more reason to meet your child’s teachers, counselors, principals and other school staff as soon as possible in the school year.  Find out how and when they prefer to be contacted so you'll know how if you need to reach them.

When your child is struggling, first talk with your child and ask for their understanding of what's wrong.   Ask when the problem started, who is involved, what they've done to try to solve it, what the teacher or school has tried, etc. 

The more you know from your child's point of view, the easier it will be for you to talk with the teacher or other school staff. If your child insists that nothing is wrong and you're still concerned, trust your judgment and contact the school to discuss issues you've noticed. 

Parent-teacher conferences are an important opportunity to meet with your child’s teacher(s) and learn about how your child is doing academically.  They are also an opportunity for you to learn about and discuss the teacher’s expectations.  Your attendance reinforces the message that you think school is important. 

If you have a specific concern about your child’s progress, don’t wait until school conferences to bring it up.  Contact the teacher to schedule time for a meeting to discuss your specific concerns.

Although each school schedules specific times for school conferences, if the offered times don’t work for your schedule, ask for a time and location that is convenient for you.  If you can’t attend in person, can you have a telephone conference?  If you need an interpreter, ask as early as possible. 

One of the most important ways you can be involved is through regular, consistent communication with your child's teacher and other school staff.

Parent involvement in school is an important factor in school success. 

Most schools provide formal opportunities to connect with school through back to school open houses, parent meetings, parent-teacher conferences, etc. but it is also important to take advantage of informal opportunities to communicate with school.  Maybe you can say a quick hello to the teacher when you're dropping off or picking up your child.  Pass along information about your child that will help their teacher connect with them.  When you hear good things about school, be sure to pass that along to the teacher.  And, when things aren't going so well, be sure you advocate for your child. 

Kids do best when family and school work together to support a child's learning.  Communication is key. 

While summer is a time for fun and fewer schedules, research shows that children can lose skills over the summer.  If the idea of "summer school" at home is not appealing, think about ways you can incorporate learning into your everyday routines, not just during the summer but all year long. 

Make reading fun.  The Ramsey County Library sponsors a summer reading program that rewards kids for reading.  Encourage your child to sign up and track their reading.  Barnes and Noble also offers incentives for readers.  Encourage your child to read books that they might not ordinarily read.  

One of the best ways to encourage your child to read is to show them that you like to read too.  Whether it’s the newspaper, the latest novel, or a book you are using to learn a new skill, talk to your child about how reading is an important lifelong skill.  Consider scheduling “family reading time” where everyone grabs something to read.