This chart shows what percentage of Suburban Ramsey County students, in the 2007 Minnesota Student Survey, said they feel various categories of adults care about them very much or quite a bit. 

The good news is the vast majority of our kids believe their parents, other adult relatives, and friends care about them very much or quite a bit.  Trends are less positive when we look at other categories, especially for boys and older students.  Less than half of 9th and 12th graders feel cared about very much or quite a bit by religious or spiritual leaders, by teachers or school staff, or by other adults in the community. 

Kids who feel supported and cared for as learners and as individuals by the adults and students in their school do better--both in and out of school.

Research shows that liking and feeling connected to school is a very important protective factor for kids that positively influences not just academics but also their social and emotional health.  Unfortunately, too many kids feel disconnected from school.

The 2007 Minnesota Student Survey included three questions that help measure how connected our students feel toward school:

1. How do you feel about going to school?
2. How many of your teachers are interested in you as a person?
3. How much do you feel teachers/other adults at school care about you?

Here are results for students in Suburban Ramsey County:

If you make only one New Year's Resolution this year, let it be that you will promise to take time to talk with your teens.  Many times, parents pull back from their teens just  when our kids most need our support and guidance. Your teen may act like you don't matter but research shows that the number one reason kids don't use alcohol or drugs is concern about their parents' disapproval.

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America asks you to promise to take the time to talk with your kids now by Making the Time to Talk Promise. 

Not sure what to say?  Check out these resources:

Building a Strong Parent-Child Connection

Kids (and parents) can get help with homework seven days a week from 1 to 11 p.m. just by accessing the Ramsey County Library's Web site at www.rclreads.org.  Homework assistance is provided "live" by certified tutors using controlled chatting, interactive whiteboards, and shared Web browsing. 

This free service is available in both English and Spanish to anyone with a library card and a desire to learn.  You can access it from your home computer or from computer workstations in the library.  Tutoring is provided in all core subjects including Science, Math, Social Studies, English, Reading, and Writing. 

"Tutors do not give students answers," said Marcus Lowry, teen libarian.  "They help learners determine solutions." 

Check out this new resource, funded by the Metropolitan Library Service Association, today. 

Start building intentional relationships with children you already know.  Use this worksheet to nudge your thinking.  Each young person you list represents an opportunity for you to make a difference. 

Start small by choosing one simple thing you can do to show every child or young person they matter.  Then, be intentional in supporting one child or young person in many ways over a long period of time. 

In Suburban Ramsey County, our goal is to have all kids connected to at least five caring adults.  Some kids already have a great support system in place—they have loving parents, a large extended family, and all sorts of family friends and well-wishers. 

The key to reducing the likelihood your child will experiment with alcohol, tobacco or other drugs is to stay involved in their life, know who their friends are, and set reasonable limits on their activities.

Stay Involved in their Life

Risks of alcohol and drug use increase during significant social transitions including starting middle or high school and getting a drivers license.  Often these transition times are associated with more independence.  These are critical times for you to stay involved in your child’s life.  Your child is meeting new kids, is more interested in peer acceptance, and is more likely to be exposed to older kids who may be using substances. 

Before agreeing to host a party, it is very important to set party guidelines for your teens.  There is often tremendous pressure to drink or use substances when hosting or attending a party.  It is also an opportunity to show your kids that they can have fun in a healthy environment, free from alcohol and drugs.

Be a role model and don’t serve alcohol to teens.

In Minnesota it is illegal for an adult to provide alcohol to anyone (beside your child)  under 21 under any circumstances, even in your own home and even with the other parent’s permission.  You face felony charges, fines and jail time. 

Tips for Hosting Parties:

As children move into the teen years, their peers have more influence over them—good and, potentially, bad.  Talk with your child about peer pressure and the natural desire to want to belong or fit in with others  Remind them that not all peer pressure is bad.  Friends encourage each other to try out for the team, audition for the play, or introduce each other to favorite hobbies, books, movies, and activities.  Friends support each other and can be a positive influence.  Encourage your child to be the kind of friend that is a positive influence for their friends. 

Peer pressure is problematic when young people feel pushed by their peers to do something they don’t really want to do or that is too risky for them. 

Talk together about how sometimes your child may want to do something so he or she can be part of a group.  Share your own experiences where you might have done something your didn’t want to do because you wanted other people to like you or you were too uncomfortable to say no. 

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) has identified four characteristics of “problem parents”.  Problem parents share these characteristics:

Failure to Monitor School Night Socializing 

CASA research shows a gap between teens and parents about whether teens regularly go out with friends on school nights with nearly half (46%) of teens saying they go out while only 14% of parents said their teens went out.

Failure to Safeguard Prescription Drugs

One-third of teens who know someone who abuses prescription drugs say that person gets the drugs from parents, home, or medicine cabinets. 

Failure to Address Drugs in School